Showing posts with label challenges and adventures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label challenges and adventures. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Tired of Waiting

Two weeks til we move .... Two long weeks looming ahead. Four months we've been in temporary housing. One month longer than anticipated. Waiting, waiting .... I'm tired of waiting!

Ever feel like that? Ever been waiting for something to happen, so life can go back to normal? I've lived in limbo throughout my married life at one time or another, but this seems to be the most intense time of waiting I've gone through. And I'm finding I don't like it much.

I tend to live in future tense, which I know is a problem for me. I even had a medical personnel tell me that I need to step back and live in the present. Good advice! And something that I frequently fail at. I like to look forward. I like to anticipate. But the grass always looks greener in the future and I'm frequently disappointed once I arrive.

So while I'm waiting I'm writing, on a novel. I have a character who I have grown fond of. His name is Stiller and he's an older, grizzled gentleman. He's on an adventure with his nephew and a girl they have joined up with. Stiller doesn't like waiting either. I guess Stiller has been channeling my inner thoughts as I've been writing. Here's a few snippets from my in-progress (soon to be bestseller!) novel:

(Stiller) left the baker's shop. More waiting .... He had forgotton how tedious the waiting while on an adventure could be.
* * *

Stiller kept a smile on his face, but grimaced inside. More waiting. "We would like to be on our way as soon as possible. We have traveled a ways already and have a bit farther to reach our destination."
* * *

"So now what Uncle?"
Stiller walked a few steps before answering. "Now we wait some more, dear boy!" Dagnabit! How had he forgotton all the waiting there was to be found on an adventure!


So it looks like Stiller and I have more waiting to do while we continue our adventures. Sure, we both have places to be and things to do, but adventures are not without their challenges and one of those challenges is what to do while one waits. For waiting is inevitable in life, whatever adventure you may find yourself on.

Til next time ....


Thursday, May 27, 2010

We Finally Know Where We're Moving

It's finally official! Michael has had an offer of employment. Actually its a paid internship, but they have an intern to work program so this could very well be where he works for the next several years. Anyway, we are on our way!

He starts June 1st, which means we're moving over Memorial Day weekend. Where, you ask? Southwestern WA, an hour or so east of Portland OR. Back to our country, where everything is more familiar than the high dessert of Idaho that we have been living in for the last 10 years (off and on). Back to rain country. Where the clouds come in and stay for days on end. Sad for us sun lovers, but ladies, your skin is moist and beautiful for decades. Closer to family. No longer will it take a long day's drive to see siblings and parents. Closer to the ocean, my beloved beaches. Sand that I love to run my fingers through and dig my toes into. And the waves I love to hear crash and sing. And back to people and a culture that I am familiar with. WA and ID are so close, yet their culture is very, very different. Something we had no notion of when we first moved to Idaho.

There are many things that we will miss about Boise and Idaho. Things we are are glad we have had the chance to know. People we've met and walked this journey with for a short while. Many happy memories. But we are excited about the new chapter of our lives.

We are a bit nervous, alot excited, happy, stressed (moving! you know), and busy nailing down all the details. We have a furnished duplex waiting. But don't know the address, guess we forgot to ask! Not sure which school district Joe will be in, but will soon find out. Not sure what Joe and I will do during the day while Mike is at work, but I'm sure we can find some trouble to get into.

For now, we are surrounded by boxes. Looking around for the next thing to pack away and still asking the question: Is this worth trucking over to our new home and storage unit?

Til next time ....

Monday, April 12, 2010

If ... If ... If ...

If Michael gets a fulltime job in his career field after graduation, when will it happen ....

If we move out of the Boise area, where will we live ....

If we move quickly enough, will I be able to plant a garden this summer ....


There are alot of "ifs" in my life right now, and not alot of answers yet. I'm hopeful that God has a plan for us, but I'd sure like to know what it is ASAP. Ever feel like that?

Michael has 5 more weeks of school, and then he's done! Finally! At long last!!! One chapter ends and hopefully, the next chapter begins. The chapter of being employed full-time again. As we were talking today, he mentioned that he hasn't worked full time for 7 years. That seems like a lifetime. And yet, its gone so quickly that I hadn't really realized that it has been 7 years .... 7 long years of searching, seeking, finding our way after our lives changed forever. 7 years of trying to be the supportive wife as I watch my husband lose so much, and yet he never lost his faith in God. Seeing him stand strong in his relationship with the Lord.

I have been so proud of his resolve to retrain and find something he can do to support his family. Tho we had a misstep out the gate, he finally found a niche that he can do even with his limited eyesight. He could have given up and decided to just take the $$ the govt provides, but he wants to return to work. He wants to provide for us, his family. I am so grateful for that. And for the way he's fought through his limitations to excel in school. He's never asked for special treatment from his professors though it is within his rights to do so. It takes him longer to complete assignments and read, but he rarely complains (at least about that!)

So here we are at the end of a long journey for our family. At crossroads not knowing which new path we will be heading down. Only God knows. Yes, God knows. A new place to live for sure. Maybe even a new city. Which would mean a new school for Josiah .... and a new church ... and finding new friends .... Maybe even a new garden to plant. But the one constant, the one "not so new" thing I can hold onto, is the Lord God Almighty will be traveling this road with us. Before us, behind us, and right next to us.

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord; and He delights in his way. When he falls, he shall not be hurled headlong; because the Lord is the One who holds his hand." Ps 37;23


Til next time ...

Thursday, January 29, 2009

being real



i want to thank all of you who responded to my question about the focus of my blog. the concensus seems to be to include more of what life is like with josiah and michael, the challenges, the good, bad and ugly. not one of you were scared off, for which i am thankful. at least none that commented ...

i have not intentionally painted a rosy picture, i'm just a private person, and conscious of what i put on this blog is (potentially) out there for all the world to see. i will still be conscious of how i portray our life, cuz i don't want to dishonor michael, nor embarrass my family. but you will probably hear more of the quirks that we deal with as a family with 2 members who have very different disabilities and one crazy woman who tries to hold the family together. with God's strength, we live this life of challenges and adventures.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Why is my Blog titled Challenges and Adventures Part 2

Jan 2, 2003
We had been back in the Seattle area for 6 months. Life was going moderately well. Josiah was in pre kindergarten at the local school, giving me a break every afternoon. Michael’s business was plugging away. We felt settled and only had a few troublesome things, like most families in the US.

That morning I had taken Josiah to his physical therapy appt and I was sitting in the waiting room, jotting down some things I wanted to accomplish this year. My cell phone rang and it was Keith, my husbands employee. “Gail, Mike fell!” Keith said. A dozen scenarios ran through my mind. “The ambulance is taking him to Harborview Medical Center”

My mom and I drove up to the hospital after I dropped Joe off with a friend. I called my sisters and let them know the little I knew. We finally found Michael at the hospital or at least found a social worker who could tell us what was going on with Michael. Yes, he had fallen. He had been taken to the emergency room and then taken into surgery. That was the extent of what we knew. We huddled around a table in the cafeteria and prayed. Later the surgeon, social workers, my brother in law who is a pastor and I met in a room. All they could tell me was that Michael had torn his aorta when he fell and they had repaired it. The fall had damaged his right lung and they removed a section of it. They told me that if he got thru the night then they would reevaluate and see what else they could do for him. I was in shock, and not really taking in all the ramifications of what they were saying.

They finally allowed me to see him. One of my nurse friends who had heard thru the grapevine, prepared me for the sight before me. After a severe trauma to the body, the body retains its body fluids to protect itself. Over the past few hours Michael had bloated up 30+ lbs. my normally skinny husband was almost unrecognizable with his skin stretched so tightly over the new, heavier body.

Over the next few days and weeks, I learned that when my husband fell 35+ feet out of the tree he was working in, he had landed on his back. From the fall, he had torn his aorta and his ribs had thrashed most of his right lung. Amazingly enough, nothing else was broken. He flatlined on the way to the hospital. He was bleeding profusely internally from the aorta. The doctors didn’t know where the bleeding was coming from, so they got out the saw and sliced his chest open, one doc holding a light to see what was going on in the dark mess of blood inside, another doc pumping his heart manually to keep him alive, another doc with his hand in his chest trying to feel for what might be going on. I think in all there were 6 docs working on him. A nurse told me later that they call that “cracking the chest” and they only do that in a last ditch effort to save someone. This nurse also told me that Michael was the first one he had seen survive the proceedure.

Michael was in the ICU and unconscious for about 8 days. Then he started to wake up and was moved to a regular floor. It was at that time that Michael and I realized there was something wrong with his eyes. Over the next few days, a series of eye docs came to look at him. We knew there was something wrong but it wasn’t til he was in rehab that he had an appt with an specialist who confirmed that becuz of the blood loss, he had lost all the nerves in his right eye. Without your nerves you lose your sight. In his left eye he had lost over 90%. Enough that he was declared legally blind, but also enough to be able to see a little.

That spring and summer, Michael rehabbed close to home and then was able to come home. Suddenly my bad habit of leaving cupboard doors open were causing a problem for a man who couldn’t see. Josiah and Mike bumped heads a few times when trying to hug and snuggle. Mike had to give up his driver’s license which was a huge disappointment for my independent, first born husband. He was suddenly dependent on his wife and others for rides, help and other things.

No longer able to climb trees or do the bidding for the jobs, we sold off our biz equipment and shut down our operation. At a loss as to what we should do, we sold our house in Puyallup and moved back to Idaho where we could live more cheaply and Michael could get some retraining.

During the year of 2003, and beyond, the Lord provided funds, food, comfort, prayer supporters and friends. Somehow without an income for the entire year we were still able to pay our bills and eat more than beans and rice. Yes, we had some savings and we sold some things, but the bulk came from the body of Christ. If I learned one thing from Michael’s experience, it is that God is faithful to us, his children. And that the body of Christ is used by the Lord to take care of his children.

Over the last 5 years we have been adjusting as a family to a father who doesn’t drive, can’t see everything that goes on, a wife who is the eyes for the family and sole driver to anywhere we go, a son who doesn’t talk and needs supervision 99% of the time. We have changed our habits and recreation activities, we find ourselves staying home more. But we are also moving forward. Michael is going back to school to get his degree. He has chosen not to sit at home and mope as some people do when hit with a mid life crisis. I am so proud of him and look at him in awe.

God allowed these situations to happen to our family for a reason. Reasons we still don’t fully comprehend, but we are willing to trust Him, we choose to trust Him for we know He has only good for us and not evil. We take comfort in all those who have gone before us and walked in faith: Hannah, Joseph, Sarah and Abraham, Daniel, Paul, Peter and the other disciples.

And that’s the story behind why I named my blog Challenges and Adventures.



Monday, June 09, 2008

Why is my blog titled Challenges and Adventures? Part One

A blogger friend asked me awhile ago, if i had ever wrote about our story on my blog. I know i've referred to different events that have happened over the years. but i realized i have never put it down for you, the reader to read, start to finish. so if you're interested, here is the story behind the title.

10 years ago when our first born son was born after several years of infertility and sporadic miscarriages, we were ecstatic. Our prayers had been answered and here we had a son. The first year was a wonderful year of bonding for the 3 of us. But there were little things that didn’t seem to add up. Josiah didn’t seem to be maturing and reaching those baby milestones. My pediatrician didn’t seem worried and didn’t order any testing til after Josiah’s 1st b-day. When we finally got some answers he was 18 months old and all we knew was that he was delayed. Whatever that meant. We enrolled Josiah in physical therapy and speech therapy. Over the months progress was slow and no one had anymore answers than we had at the beginning. We were in the midst of moving our family to Idaho while Michael was still working in Seattle. It was hard to be apart half of the week and I wasn’t’ dealing well with Josiah’s delays and the uncertainty of the future.

I remember dropping Michael off at the Boise airport and heading home. I cried out in my heart to the Lord: “God, I can’t take it anymore. I need to know what is wrong with my son.” being a person who needs to know and have closure with stuff, this was a real cry of my inner heart and soul.

As I reached home, I got Josiah set up with something to keep him occupied and jumped on the computer. I remembered that someone had mentioned a website that had an index of special needs and their symptoms. I read a few that I had heard of, but none seemed to fit. Next I decided to go ahead and read alphabetically. In the A’s I found Angelman’s Syndrome and read a list of symptoms my son showed. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry. Here was my answer. I had a name, I had a diagnoses. Oh, but now here was a answer and that meant he wasn’t just slightly delayed and would catch up afterall.

At Josiah’s doc appt that week, I brought in the pages I found off the internet and showed my pediatrician. He was hesistant, but I was insistant. He finally relented and ordered testing.

A month later we got the phone call that indeed Josiah tested positive for Angelman’s Syndrome. Oh, how I cried. Tho I wanted to know, I never wanted, nor thought I’d ever have a child with handicaps, special needs, or a diagnosis. After so many years of infertility, so many dashed hopes with miscarriages, this wasn’t suppose to happen. Where was God now?

We had moved back to the Seattle area to be together as a family, to be close to extended family and close friends, and to allow me to get my head together. I was deep in grief over my son’s disability and started to question my faith in God, my understanding of his character, and where Josiah and I fit in all this. I remember being angry, with picking fights with Michael over God’s character and how He could do this to me, to our family. I remember crying myself to sleep, cuz there didn’t seem to be a solution. I couldn’t just leave my husband and son and start over, I couldn’t take Josiah to the doctor for a surgery that would cure his problems, I didn’t have a magic wand to wave. And yet, I didn’t feel like I could live with the way things were.

Over the period of the next year, I met with a sweet christian gal who ministered to me thru our church’s Stevens Ministries. She listened to me, she prayed for me and with me, she shared scriptures with me. She held my hand as I struggled with deep truths of God. Somehow I came to realize that God is indeed a good God. That despite my circumstances, my life, my feelings, God is good. And that despite how much it didn’t make sense, I could trust God. I could hold onto Him as I struggled to make sense of my life. And whether I ever understood His ways, I could cling to Him, trust Him, and find safety beneath His wings.

I read a lot of psalms, the book of Isaiah, and many other comforting scriptures. Slowly, I began to accept my life, my son and our family for who and what we were/are. We learned how to care for our son, how to get help when we needed it, and how to have fun with a son who doesn’t talk and didn’t always understand. Who couldn’t do what others his age could do physically. Then we noticed every difference, now we rarely notice at all.

Fast forward to Jan 2, 2003 ....

Part 2 Coming Soon