i've been meaning to write, really i have! but i've been in a funk ... there i said it! i've been depressed, i'm withdrawing into my shell, i'm not the fun and happy gal i like to be. why? i'm not really sure this time. nothing of epic proportions has happened, life is good for the most part. no major calamities. i'm just feeling a bit "peckish". but i'm outing myself, becuz i want to be real, authentic and genuine. life isn't always a bowl of cherries.
i have had a history of depression over the years. for many years i just lived with it and ignored it. living in the land of "de nile" can be a great experience--ha! but the last few years i have been more proactive and have taken steps to keep my depression at a bare minimum, if not cured altogether.
one thing i like to do when i feel the funk coming on is read the psalms. it seems to me that david and the other writers had their share of feeling depressed. and yet i see them turning to God. they were real in their weakness and cries of distress, they didn't try to hide it from Him, He knows anyway, so who am i trying to fool? and they knew that He was the answer to their circumstance, their weakness, their feelings. i want to be like them and turn to God too. i want to put my hope in Him, trust Him, praise Him and rest in Him.
one of my fav psalms says: "my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." ps 73:26
i'm hoping that this funk will pass on and i will be back to the fun-loving, friendly chica that i imagine i am soon.